Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Hometown dates

So Ben F takes on the Hometown dates.

Lindzi was first. I was disappointed to see that it didn't take place in my hometown, Seattle, but in Florida at a horse ranch. Ben has got to love horses to be with Lindzi, that is for sure. I have this crazy inkling that before the bachelor Lindzi spent too much time with those horses instead of having real relationships with actual people. But at this point I think Lindzi will be second in Ben's quest for love. She has "Second Place" written all over her. She is cute enough, says all the right things, and this week emotionally opened up to Ben, which Ben was so thankful for.

That said, I can't see Ben ever visiting that horse ranch again. It is too small town for his D list celebrity now. I keep seeing him going to Sundance, hanging out with Snooki, and all over the "Stars are just like us" in US weekly. I know when the show ends, and Ben winds up single, he will be dating another D list celebrity or reality star like himself.

I know that it seemed like Kacie B was the one to win at the beginning. But over the past few weeks, she has been getting crazier and more psycho over Ben. I knew from the previews, her hometown date was the one to watch. When she said her dad didn't drink and her dad works for the government, I was already getting ready to text dwags, "Sucka!". Kacie is really cute and likable, and my heart broke a little when she said, "That is my future husband in there" to her sister about Ben. She definitely is a little nuts if she doesn't realize it was not a shoe in for her to win Ben over. I mean there are three others girls. Kacie's parents really scared me, was she home schooled? Who knows, but it really freaked me out.

My first pick was Nicki in our Bachelor draft. She is exceeding everyone's expectations except for my own. Should I say, I told you so? She actually wore an outfit that looked good this week. I thought her date was the most normal. Ben seemed to like her parents and Nicki admitted she loved Ben for the first time. It seemed like Nicki's parents liked Ben more than Nicki's ex in one sitting. That, or he did it for TV.

You got to see the side of Courtney that was genuine this week. I was excited to see her in her element, and I really thought the weird mouth twirk would stop once she was with her family. But in her one on one with her mom, but she kept doing it. She seemed really fake while talking to her mom and I wonder what is the real Courtney. Will the real Courtney please stand up?

I love how Courtney planned the date for Ben and her. It really seemed like she was the Bachelor, and he was one of the contestants. She wears the pants in this relationship. Ben puts on the bow tie and the dorky hair style to walk down the aisle with her. It doesn't seem like she is into him at all. What would you do though if you tried out for the Bachelor and wanted to get your 15 minutes, and then boring Ben showed up for you to date? I would fake it too. I really think Courtney is the better catch because she is good looking, entertaining, and actually has a personality. Ben just seems whipped.

The rose ceremony was awful. I felt so bad for Kacie when she got eliminated. Also, watching both the other girls hug her goodbye and Courtney just laugh was typical. Ben did not feel bad when he was announcing the upcoming overnight dates. I hate how he copped out and couldn't really give a reason to her on why she was eliminated. But all in all, 2/3 of my girls our going onto the next round. Where are Libby's players, you know?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

What Nonsense!

What a week on the Bachelor!  Just when you think some girl is as good as gone, he shoves his tongue into another girl's face and then sends her to the limo of doom.

First off, why did I have to watch someone cry for over 15 minutes?  Show Ben looking sad, show Elyse whimpering, show Ben walking on the beach, show Elyse sobbing, show Ben wading in the water, show Elyse crying, show Ben's sweaty hair glued to his face, show Elyse bawling...etc, etc...  I can think of more words for 'crying' but in the interest of time, we get it...she was sad!  Who wouldn't be sad?  Living in a mansion in Costa Rica with free food and an excess of booze.  Who cares about Ben, bring on the sweaty drama!  There must have been a combined 35-40 minutes of women crying on this episode.  The good part is, there will only be more!

When it comes to Courtney, I have a lot to say.  Not just to crush Cait's hopes and dreams, but more to expose her inner ugly.  And outer ugly for that matter.  I'm tired of her unibrow.  I'll say it!  She should know how to pluck her eyebrows and keep her face from blinding me with that shine.  Yes, my eyes are sensitive to the light...but still!  Damn she is shiny.  Looking into her eyes is like searching in an empty vessel...nothing to see here!  Whoever is feeding her lines is doing wonders because it actually APPEARS like she has a "personality".  Who knew!  And how many times did she have to awkwardly say 'nightcap' before Ben would get the hint and ask her to show him her tits already.  At this point, he might be gay.  I've seen gay guys kiss girls, you ain't fooling anyone!  It was sweet how Courtney mentioned over and over again how amazing it was to be "all alone" with Ben on the beach naked and loving it.  I mean, don't worry about the collection of cameramen, mike guys, directors on set.  You're still all alone Courtney.  It's so romantic.

Ok so I also despise some of the other girls, aren't I sweet and balanced?  Blakely looks like a drag queen.  Emily is showing her inner-satan a little too early.  Kacie B and Nikki decided to wear their most hideous dresses tonight since they already had roses and he couldn't send them home for their unquestionably awful fashion sense.

Phew, all this shit-talking is working up an appetite.  In conclusion, let's be real folks:  Kacie B and Courtney are the 2 front runners (Sorry Libs...no just kidding I'm not).  But Kacie B is the wife and Courtney is the mistress.  In the end, Ben F will show what kind of a dog he is.  One with class?  Or one chlamydia?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bachelor: Episode 2

Well this week was Team Dwags. Kacie B pulled ahead of everyone with her one on one. I was cringing the entire time. She pulled out the baton twirling/seduction and won him over. I hate to say it, but whoever gets to be there when Ben is watching home videos of his dad already gets into the final four. Wah wah.

My shine queen Courtney got some good attention from Ben though! Courtney and Blakeley are basically fighting over villain in the house. I think Courtney will last longer. It is great to have the villain on your team because you know she will make it far for drama on the show. Courtney is not as glamorous as I thought, but she is totally this year's Michelle.

Oh, I have to mention the part when Ben was talking to his dog Scotch! Dwags and I were dying because it reminded us of the Ashley/Ben scene last year when they did their cutesy doggie voices. Here is the link which might make you sick:

http://www.peoplepets.com/people/pets/article/0,,20514814,00.html

It hurts to see one of my players go home! Jenna basically got herself kicked off by saying she is "basically a guy". She looked disoriented and drunk the entire time. I get it, I made a bad pick! But I am glad she is gone so I don't have to worry about it every week.

But where was Shawn? Sorry L$, your number two pick is out of there. And no one seemed to care.

Ben-give Nikki some love next week, mmkay?

Cait

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Last night was our draft...I had the last draft pick, which was not ideal, but because we did the snake order, I got 2 picks in a row. I did miss out on swooping my favorite, which was obviously Kacie B. She seems the most normal by a landslide. Not sure how Cait let Dwags swoop her up but i mean...Cait also picked Scary Bradshaw so its like...

Despite the 3rd pick, I think my roster of women is looking strong. I got Casey S, who is super hot, and Shawn, who despite the 17 different colors of hair, plays sports and has a son, which can sometimes be a wildcard in this game (Think: Ella and Jason Mesnic).

Can't wait until Monday.

Let the Games Begin!

On this 5th day on the 1st month of 2012, we three women enter into a Reality Show Decathlon that shall take place over the course of about a year.  Over a series of ten reality shows and ten fantasy drafts, these three reality junkies will engage in a battle of wits for gold, silver, and bronze medals.  The winner after ten such events shall be crowned the reality show victor and a prize to be announced shall be presented to said winner.

The first event shall be "The Bachelor", starring Ben Flajnik.  Using a snake draft, each of us has chosen 6 Bachelor contestants.  And now...

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!